How to Deal With a Bully in the Workplace

Posted by YoungMan | Bullying | Tuesday 15 December 2009 8:47 am

Many people are unaware that adult bullying occurs, and chances are if you are being bullied at work you have no idea how to handle it. It can be hard to deal with an adult bully because workplace bullying is not widely known or understood. Often times the bully is a person of authority, making it even harder to deal with an adult bully. There are not set rules for dealing with an adult bullies there are harassment laws, so stopping an adult bully can be especially challenging. If you or someone you know needs help dealing with an adult bully, these tips can help.

The first thing you should do to deal with an adult bully is to keep a detailed written account of each instance of bullying. Being able to prove that you are constantly singled out for no reason and are the target of frequent attacks will go a long way to deal with an adult bully. Keep your records in a safe place, not at work where the bully can find them. You should also keep copies of all written interactions from the bully including memos, notes, and emails that prove you are being treated unfairly. Make a list of every instance of unfair treatment by the bully.

If you are criticized or accused of wrongdoing by a bully and the claims are not true, ask for substantiated evidence of these claims and record in writing what the bully says. Many times the bully will not have a response or have evidence that is untrue. Their lack of answer or untrue answer will further prove your case and help to deal with an adult bully. You can even point out to the bully that making false accusations is a form of harassment and that you will seek out the proper recourse.

If you are not the only one being bullied, find other employees that have the same experiences and see if they want to pursue the bully together. Sometimes other employees that are having similar problems will be unwilling to cooperate, but sometimes they will be grateful for the help. More than one employee who have the same experiences with a bully will have better chances of dealing with an adult bully together. It will help that you are not the only one experiencing the problem and give validation to your claims.

If your occupation has a union or other professional organization, contact them about your bullying problem. Not all unions or organizations will help employees deal with an adult bully but many will or will have information you can use. You can also take your bullying problems to your manager or supervisor, unless they are the one doing the bullying. It is not usually a good idea to skip the proper chain of command, but if a supervisor of manager is the one bullying you, it may be a good idea to speak with their higher-up. If you are the victim of workplace bullying your should get a copy of your company’s harassment and bullying policies so you knew what your rights are within the company.

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The Facts on Cyber Bullying

Posted by YoungMan | Bullying | Saturday 12 December 2009 9:23 am

Cyber bullying is the newest type of bullying and has not been studied as much as traditional forms of bullying. Many children report being bullied via the internet or cell phone and the effects can be devastating. Children also report that bullies spread rumors and say other mean things about them online where many different people can see it. The potential audience for cyber bullying is unlimited making it even more appealing to bullies. Bullies will also threaten their victims online and belittle them for their own amusement.

Girls are twice as likely as boys to be cyber bullies as well as be targeted by cyber bullies. Normally boys are the most likely children to bully others but this is not true with cyber bullying. Boys tend to physically bully others while girls use emotional methods, which can be perfectly carried out over the computer. Cyber bullying also can be anonymous and many children who are the victims of cyber bullying never know who was bullying them. Cyber bullying is not restricted to school either, it can happen anywhere children have access to computers or cell phones. Bullying used to be confined to school, but with cyber bullying can now reach children anywhere.

Cyber bullying commonly occurs in IM’s and in chat rooms. Cyber bullying can also occur in blogs and on websites when a bully posts damaging things about their victim. The internet makes bullying easy and bullies can torment victims in new ways. Using the internet gives cyber bullies an even more devious way to humiliate others than traditional bullying. About half of pre teens tell an adult about their experiences with cyber bullying and this number drops as children get older. Cyber bullying also makes it easier for the victim to retaliate against the bully as they can just as easily post their own damaging responses. This ease of use makes perpetuating the bullying cycle more common. This is not necessarily the best idea, as it will probably make the bullying worse and only reinforce the idea that bullying is ok.

Cyber bullying can affect anyone and the same stereotypes that apply to traditional bullying do not apply to cyber bullying. Cyber bullies can pick on anyone, even those more confident and popular than themselves. Cyber bullies can even pick on children older and bigger than them because of the anonymous nature of the internet. If a cyber bully wants to hurt another person, the internet gives them the perfect vehicle to do so.

Parents must take steps to stop and prevent cyber bullying just like other types of bullying. Any form of bullying can have serious consequences and cyber bullying can be particularly dangerous because it can reach so many people and be so humiliating. Take cyber bullying seriously so that your child does not fall victim, or bully others. Make your child aware that cyber bullying is unacceptable and if they are the target they should tell an adult right away. Taking action quickly is the best way to stop cyber bullying before it gets out of hand.

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What To Do If Your Child Is A Bully

Posted by YoungMan | Bullying | Wednesday 9 December 2009 9:59 am

Children commonly tease each other and often times it is in good nature and has no negative effects. However, when a child becomes a bully, they can seriously injure children both physically and emotionally. It is important to stop bullying before it escalates to the point that a child is hurt. Most people think about stopping bullying by dealing with the victim, but what should you do if your child is a bully?

There are many different reasons why a child becomes a bully, some are not too serious and can easily be overcome and others are serious issues that must be dealt with for the well-being of both bully and victim. Children may bully others because they have low self-esteem themselves, they want attention of are trying to fit in with other kids that bully. They may experience abuse or bullying themselves from other children or adults. No matter what the reason is, if your child is a bully you should take the following actions.

You should first discuss with your child what has been going on and get their side of the story. Many times a child who is a bully is being bullied himself or is facing other types of abuse. Always get your child’s side of the story to determine their motive behind being a bully. If your child is looking for attention, trying to make friends, or has low self-esteem himself, you can better help him cope with his problems if you find the underlying cause of what is going on.

Let your child know that bullying is a serious issue and will have negative consequences if it continues. Schools do not tolerate bullying and eventually your child’s actions will catch up with him. Let him know that his behavior must stop or there will be serious consequences. Many times a bully who is not stopped will have lifelong problems with crime and drugs.

Talk to your child’s teacher or other school official who has or can witness your child’s bullying. Working together to stop your child’s bullying will be more effective than working alone. Discuss ways to work together to stop your child from being a bully. Teachers are more than willing to help stop bullying as schools take it very seriously.

If there are other children involved with your child’s bullying, talk to their parents. Sometimes children act together as bullies and not all the parents may be aware of it. Parents that act together will strengthen the message that being a bully is not ok and have an easier time of stopping it.

Finally, you should address the reason why your child is being a bully. If your child wants attention, more friends, or just to fit in, give them ways to accomplish this without bullying. If your child has other issues that may be more serious like bipolar disorder or low self-esteem, seek professional help for the well-being of your child. Giving your child positive ways to problem solve will go a long way to stop their bullying.

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The Wrong Way to Handle Bullying

Posted by YoungMan | Bullying | Sunday 6 December 2009 10:35 am

If your child is being bullied, it can be a harrowing experience. Many children are unsure what to do when they get bullied, and you should make sure they have the correct information. Many children use the wrong methods to deal with bullying, or they refuse to take action at all. Many children have the wrong idea of what to do if they are bullied, so make sure they do not make these mistakes.

If your child is being bullied, make sure that they do not think it is their fault. Many children do not realize this and suffer from low self esteem and emotional problems if they blame themselves for being bullied. Bullying is never the fault of the victim no matter why they are being singled out for. Make sure you child understands this so they do not suffer from guilt. They will also be more willing to share their problems if they realize that the other child is to blame.

Make sure you child does not bully the person back or use physical violence. You should teach them positive ways to defend themselves and make sure they do not take part in continuing the cycling of bullying. Children will often try to harm their bully back, and while this may work for a little while, it will only perpetuate the problem. Children who are bullied will often try to get revenge in this way but it is not the best way to take action.

You should tell your child that the most important thing to do is tell an adult about what is going on. Many children are afraid that telling someone about being bullied will only make the bullying worse. Make sure your child knows that telling an adult is the best way to make bullying stop. It is natural for a child who is being bullied to be reluctant to talk about it, so make sure you reassure them that you can only help. Children may not want to talk to their parents or their teachers, so have them find a trusted adult they can confide in such as a coach or clergy person.

Encourage your child to continue spending time with friends and doing the activities they enjoy. Many children that are being bullied will withdrawal from friends, school and activities so be sure prevent this and support your child in their activities. Sticking with friends will make your child less of a target and continuing in activities will help to boost their confidence, both things that can prevent bullying.

If your child is being bullied, make sure they do not become depressed or start bullying others. Many children will resort to picking on others or become depressed if they are being bullied themselves. Make sure you child does not act out in this way as it will only cause more emotional damage and is not a healthy way to deal with problems. Many times bullying occurs because a child has no other way to cope with their problems. Give your child support and ideas on how to better solve problems so that they will not continue the cycle of bullying.

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Why Do Children Bully?

Posted by YoungMan | Bullying | Thursday 3 December 2009 11:11 am

There are many reasons children bully others. They can have strained home lives, not be getting enough attention at home, or have other family issues. Children who come from abusive homes or whose parents use violence to solve problems also may bully others. The most commonly thought of reason children bully is because they have low self esteem or a poor self image but many times bullies are confident and popular and pick on children who are smaller and unpopular. Children may also bully because they witness violence at home or do not know any other way to deal with stress. If children are not taught the proper way to solve problems, they may resort to violence and bullying. Bullying is a serious issue that can have serious consequences and should be treated as such.

Other reasons children bully are to compensate for their own problems, to gain a feeling of power, or to make themselves feel better. They turn to bullying as a way to solve these problems because it seems like the best way. Being mean spirited or emotionally unstable are also reason children bully because bullying is actually enjoyable to them. Children may find happiness in the misery of others. If children have learning problems, poor social skills, or problems fitting in they may also bully others to make themselves feel better about their social situation.

Sometimes the reason children bully is because they are being picked on themselves and they will retaliate by bullying others. This is a common way that the cycle of bullying continues and that children who would not normally bully others start to do so. No reason merits bullying, but some children don’t know any other way to deal with their problems.

The most important thing to remember when dealing with a child that bullies is that their motive may be different from the norm and the underlying problem must be resolved in order to stop the bullying cycle. The reason children bully is the key to stopping them, so if your child is a bully make sure you identify exactly why they feel as though they should bully others. Solving the underlying problem will give children the relief from their problems they need without having to resort to bullying. Give your child positive ways to deal with problems and stress so they don’t have to use bullying. Children who are stopped quickly are much less likely to suffer from long term effects of bullying.

Stopping bullying is important not only for the victims of bullying but for the bullies themselves. Children who bully often have problems later in life and end up committing crimes and continuing their cycle of aggression. Stopping a bully while they are young and making them realize the consequences of their actions is important to prevent future trouble. No matter why a child bullies, they should be made aware that bullying is not acceptable and given better ways to cope with their problems. Make sure you address the problem that is causing the bullying so that it doesn’t continue.

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